PSA: Trimming Your Bangs with a Pork Shoulder

What a title that is, right?  A Public Service Announcement to address trimming your bangs with a pork shoulder.  Is there a typo in that title?  Why would anyone need a PSA about trimming their bangs?  HaHa!  Please consider the author of this announcement and the sad state of her bangs.  She could have used a PSA on that subject a couple of weeks ago. But trimming your bangs with a pork shoulder?  Did the author accidentally mix two separate PSAs together?

No.  She did not.

Let me tell you how you can give your bangs a quick little trim with a pork shoulder.

First, put a stainless steel pan on the stovetop and crank it up real high.

Drizzle in a tiny bit of oil just to keep things interesting and get a nice crisp sear on the meat.

Season the bejeeze out of a huge pork shoulder.  Make sure you get the seasoning on all sides.

Evaluate the size of the pork shoulder and the size of your pan.  Hmmm, is this pork shoulder too big for this pan?  It doesn't matter, because you already have put the oil in the pan and it is blazing hot and who wants to dirty another, bigger pan just to get a sear on a piece of meat?  Not me.  That is for dang sure.  Surely it will be fine.  Famous last words.

Heave the giant pork shoulder into the searing hot pan and step back and watch the smoke.  Woooo, that is hot, but it is going to be fantastic.

When you think the pork shoulder is caramelized enough on the first side, take a fork and a pair of tongs and try to rotate it a half turn.

WATCH OUT!   Here comes the warning!

Some pork fat may come out of the tiny pan or drip off the wad of meat and hit the gas flame causing a fire ball to shoot up into the air!

Pay attention....this is wear the bang trim comes in!

If you are just close enough to the wad of pork, and the jumping burst of flame, you can singe your bangs a little bit.  You can also think you are on fire and rip your shirt completely off your body and throw it in the kitchen floor, but maybe that is a separate PSA.

You might smell burning hair and quickly glance into the reflection in the microwave door just to make sure your hair isn't on fire.  It isn't, but the bangs unfortunately have been singed a little bit.  It is not horrible, but you will see a few curled up ends that come off like dust in your hand when you touch them.

It is not a good way to trim your already horrible bangs.

As a visual for this lesson, please see the photo below.  This pan is NOT big enough for this size of meat.  Do the hard work.  Dirty a bigger pan.  Save your bangs.  They are worth it.

You are welcome.